Sunday, August 31, 2008
Angelina Jolie, FLIP’s September crush of the month! Oh yeah! She owned Jessica Alba, Megan Fox and Eva Longoria by seizing 55% of the votes!
Here are some of my questions regarding our crush:
- How come she’s so hot even though she ain’t showing that much skin?
- How come she looks hot by simply doing nothing? E.g. standing still, waiting for the bullet (from the movie wanted)
- How come she keeps on adopting random kids from random ethnicity?
- Is she looking for a Filipino kid to adopt?
- Will she adopt me?
- Can I bang her then?
Friday, August 29, 2008
there is this female butcher taking our orders… blah2 blah… for some reasons she became disappointed, maybe because of orders getting mixed up. She was yelling! Blah2 whine whine whine (while chopping the goddamn slimy, fresh raw meat without gloves or any plastic thingie whatsoever) then suddenly she wiped her face as a sign of dismay! Then I was like, WTF!? (fresh meat bacteria-her hand-her face) nuf said, you got the point!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Lucifer: my dear Acedia, lazy as always….
Acedia: ………why are you here? Light bringer……
Lucifer: can’t a fallen angel visit his favorite sin?
Acedia: favorite? You must be looking for my other sister… Ira? Superbia? Perhaps Invidia?
Lucifer: Invidia? Are you accusing me of being envious on that old bastard!?
Acedia: ………..so it is Superbia then….
Lucifer: enough of that, this meeting is not about me; it’s about you, and your sisters.
Lucifer: so, how are the Seven Sin Sisters?
Acedia: why don’t you ask them? Why bother Sloth? Why bother the lazy one…..
Lucifer: perhaps I will visit them as well, but for now, how are you?
Acedia: ……nothing has changed….. leave me alone…… I’m not in the mood to speak to anyone….. go to my other sisters….
Lucifer: nothing has changed eh?
Acedia looked at the universe, she was flabbergasted…. For she kept her eyes closed for a long time. Everything changed…..
Lucifer: it seems like it’s been a while since your last observation.
Acedia: my realm…. My realm grew…..
Lucifer: despair, misery, indifference, apathy…… Sloth…. They expand uncontrollably. You have done well by not doing anything.
Acedia: that is my nature, light bringer…. Men are easily corrupted by us…. The Seven Sisters…. We are necessary…. We are inevitable……
Lucifer: I’ve learned what I have to learn…. I’m done here; I will now visit your other sisters and see if they are doing as well as you…. Farewell then, my dear Acedia…. May sadness embrace you…
Lucifer departs…… Acedia is again, alone in a corner….. watching…. listening carefully to the requiem of the weeping…. She loves the sound of despair….. Acedia is Sloth
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
If you are looking for a place to shop, Quiapo is the place to be! Quiapo has everything! From rubix cubes to hardcore sex toys! Of course the sex toys are well hidden, you can pass by them at the overpass! At least they followed the “keep out of reach of children” rule.
If you were stabbed by a random by stander or injected with a random disease contained syringe, do not panic! You just have to check out the “pharmacy” section, wherein they will offer you a wide selection of “Pampa’s”. Pampa’s are medicines that are made of god knows what. Common Pampa’s are:
Pampa Regla (something that lures a female’s monthly visitor. If ya know what I mean)
-it guarantees that it will make you bleed, regardless where.
Pampa Tankad (makes you tall)
-the locals say that this medicine is far more effective than those you see in T.V., where those asian chiks are trying to convince you that the said medicine works.
In your case, try asking for “Pampa gamot ng sugat na nakuha ko dahil sa kakashopping ko sa quiapo” (translation: a medicine that can heal a wound that I got for shopping in quiapo)
Now that you’re healed, it’s time for your revenge! By revenge, it doesn’t have to be done on the person who stabbed you, just choose a random person, trust me, he’ll do the same thing. First, look for a weapon, I recommend you get the 3 for P100 shurikens. I’m not kidding here, they do sell shurikens!
If you want to take a break, you can go watch x rated movies in theaters with sticky flooring and sticky seats. Why sticky you ask? You have to experience it yourself, coz I have no plans on going there! You can also watch dancing naked ladies. I just learned that there is a 24 hour strip club somewhere there in Quiapo. I told you man! They got it all for you!
Be aware of little kids who sell bracelets! You know the show about professional pick pockets? These kids are sort of kinda like them. These kids will grab your hand, and then before you can even react, you are already wearing the goddamn bracelet! Here’s the insanely irritating part, after planting their stupid bracelet on you, they are gonna force you to buy it by telling you their saddest made up story! Furchristssakes please don’t give in! You’ll just encourage those little demons!
Don’t forget to visit the DVD section. They sell good porn, 3 for P100.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
I was lining up to buy my train pass when I noticed that I don’t have small bills in my wallet, and the machine only accepts P20 and P50 bill! I told the lady behind me to hold my spot so I can go find a store where I can change my bills. Alas! These shopkeepers are too busy texting/polishing their nails/listening to their improvised ipod/eating merienda to entertain a guy who wants his money changed! I decided to walk further down, and then I saw this old lady who sells cigarettes. Tada! I succeeded on acquiring my precious P20 bill! Level up! Now I’m back at the station, of course the lady who was holding my spot was long gone now; there was no line anyways so after a few minutes, I’m already aboard the train……
Arriving at Araneta station Cubao.
This is the hard part, since it was my first time riding the train by myself; I’m not sure on where to go, which ticket to buy and where to get off! When I was on my way to the MRT station, I saw this girl eyeing me, then we were like staring at each other intensely until we were too close that I have to tilt my head down to her while she stares up at me. Ooohhh…. Train love story, reminds me of sassy girl. I have to say, shawty is a 8! No time to play though! Back to the action!
I am now heading to my next train ride; I bought the ticket, no problem at all, until…. I’m not sure which train I’m gonna ride! It’s a 50-50 chance that I’ll reach my destination safely-or travel all the way to the other side! Then this guard approached me when he saw me looking at the map-looking dumb! He asked me where I’m headed, “ortigas” I say. He solved my predicament with his one finger! –Points at the escalator that will bring me to the “right train”-. Luckily, the train was not too crowded, I’ve experienced worst! I was doing the bamboo stance to keep my balance; else I’ll be pressing myself beside the man who defines the meaning of B.O.! I traveled North America by myself, and I could have sworn that it was a lot easier than snaking your way through metro manila via train!
At last! I’ve made it! I hear round of applause behind my ears! Nicely done jb! You’ve earned it!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
August 21, 2008
At around 2:00am-5:00am I was dreaming that I met Maja Salvador somewhere in the dream world. We were having fun enjoying each other’s company. We talked about a lot of things; I felt a connection going on between us. It’s like we are in a typical scene on a love story. Everything went well, we even agreed that we’ll see each other again tomorrow, we held hands and walked together until she kissed me goodbye…..
That was the best night of my life!
And then I woke up…..
That was the worst night of my life!
best things in life can't be attained in reality, hence "it's too good to be true"
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Enna, a blind college girl who lives alone on an old apartment in a big city, she have seen things a normal eye cannot comprehend, things beyond substance, beyond facts. Despite her disability, she lives a normal teen college life. Enna’s parents died in a car accident when she was 4. she never saw her twin brother again after that incident-though technically, she never did. Enough about Enna, after all, this story is about two unusual beings and an unusual duel, and perhaps more…
Our story starts at dusk, when Enna is on her way back to her apartment. The sun is about to set. Darkness hugging its way into the horizon. Enna, guided by her walking stick, is now crossing a busy street. It is not the fast cars that bother her. For she have crossed that street several times before. She is worried about the guy who is following her. Enna’s other senses are very sharp. Sharp enough to compensate her blindness. She doesn’t need sight to notice that she is being followed. She walked faster towards a bridge. As soon as she was about to cross the bridge, the guy grabbed her from the back and pointed a gun on her torso. The mugger took her wallet from her pocket, her phone and her purse, and demanded her to come with him in a dark alley… perhaps he intended to take more from her. Enna instinctively pushed her assailant off her. Not knowing that a gun was pointed at her, she fought her way out of the assaulter’s tight grasp.
Enna is now falling from the bridge while the robber runs away from the scene…
Just before Enna hits the raging river, a black fog-like mist halted her fall… as if the black mist saved her from the cruel river………..
???: Darkness, if you don’t mind me asking,… why do you care for that human so much? I mean, she was about to fall on that wild river and die! But somehow you managed to save her with your dark tricks.
Darkness: is there something wrong Gravity? Are you mad that I saved her life?
Gravity: well, I just hate the fact that you saved her from falling! She could have been a victim of gravity ya know!?
Darkness: you are not Death my friend.
Gravity: yeah, but you just defied my law! Does that made you feel you have power over me?! That you have power against Gravity!?
Darkness: are you challenging me?
Gravity: it’s a duel then!
Gravity floated up to the sky, he went as high as he can, as high as gravity’s territory.
Gravity: if you made me touch the ground, you win! There is no time limit. You lose when you give up!
Darkness: being cocky are we? Night! Ensnare Gravity! Gravity depends on mass, you can make a dark cloud weigh million times heavier. But darkness of the night is weightless.
Gravity: so what if you ensnared me with your “night”. It doesn’t make me fall does it? Now it’s my turn.
Giant boulders, trees and rocks are being thrown to Darkness by Gravity’s power. He will be crushed if these things hit him!
Darkness: you can do better than that my friend.
Darkness formed a dark circle with his hands. Then all the boulders and rocks were sucked by the darkness!
Gravity: black hole eh? Let’s see how you handle my next move! I’m going to multiply you weight!
Darkness fell on his knees… he cannot lift himself up due to the massive gravity that is pulling him down.
Gravity: you can quit anytime now… or do you still want me to double up your suffering?
Gravity: why are you smili…..waaaaahhhhh!!!!
Gravity is falling from the sky!
Gravity touches the ground…..Darkness won.
Gravity: but…but how??
Darkness: I pulled you down with your shadow. I ensnared you with night because it will be a lot easier for me to find your shadow when you are not moving.
Gravity: I don’t understand? How can my shadow pull me down?
Darkness: when you are all the way up there, your shadow down here is nothing more than a dot, perhaps even smaller than a dot. Being darkness himself, I have the power to make your shadow bigger, thus drawing you closer to it until you finally touch it.
Gravity: …..my shadow was, of course in the ground…
Gravity: you won fair and square Darkness. I apologize for my actions earlier….
Darkness: I am glad that you accepted defeat Gravity. It was an interesting match. We should do that again sometime…..
Gravity: umm.. you never answered my question regarding the human… so why did you save her?
Darkness: she was my twin sister.
Enna woke up on a hospital near her school. She was half awaked when she saw two figures outside the window… a floating boy and a man….and then darkness, she was blind after all………
Gravity: how did it happen? Is it possible for Light to give up her purpose?
Darkness: Enna was Light before she gave up her “job”-being Light herself-thus making her blind. Till then she became a normal human being with littlest memory of what she was. But of course Light still exist, perhaps a new personification was born?
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
1st stop, Embassy. Since Emba only serves liquor until 2:00, (meaning the place will be deserted at around 3 am) we went there first. We got in for free coz my cousin has his connections (translation: guest list). We have access to the VIP section but unluckily, neither Michelle Madrigal nor Maui Taylor was there! It would have been a chance to try my ice breakers on them! It’s Wednesday night so R&B gets the big room. Once you enter the room, you’ll notice a bouncer standing motionless on a… ummm.. box.. uh huh, he’s like the embassy version of Ronald McDonald! You know, the clown by the door. He (the bouncer on a box) greets me with a smile, but I was like-wtf!? Is this their mascot or something!? How come Jollibee and McDonald never greet costumers? They are just staring blankly into space with their disturbing unresponsive eyes!! Ok, back to the club. My cousin introduces us (me and my other cousin) to her workmates. I knew nothing’s gonna happen to me here because these guys are all yuppies! (I prefer younger crowd) She even introduces us to some white females twice my age! Where the fuck are those fine teen shawties!?
Going up! Again, no entrance fee. Here we’ve met my other cousin’s colleagues. Meeting friends of friends is the best way for meeting friends. 3 friends in 1 sentence! Haha. The place is not too crowded and I’m hearing the same music I heard earlier in embassy! Put your hands up in the air! (repeat kazillion times) makes me wanna yell-ok! We got the point for chrissakes!!
We left the fort and now where in front of Alchemy. For some reasons our name wasn’t on the list as expected. Well the place looks empty anyways so why bother arguing with the ugly creature sitting on the front desk. Ciao alchemy.
Tada! From embassy to a freakin cheap ass club! The only reason why guys go there because girls come up to guys! Uh huh, it’s the other way around! Howdya like that! These girls will give you tons of signs that they want you to take them home! 1 single smile is all you need to make them give their number to you.
Again, we don’t have to pay to get in. oh yeah, before that. My cousin doesn’t want to go in, coz he’s worried that his girlfriend’s friends might spot him there-which will lead to-them breaking up. (Eventually, they broke up before I even had the chance to finish this post!) back to the club. We’re eyeing the horde of girls/dudes/gays/unknown creatures searching for shawties with potential. Some girls are coming up to us, but they look manlier than us! –walk away-. Then after minutes of googling, I saw this group of girls slowly walking towards the entrance, wind blowing their perfect hair, an HID backlighting them as if they are sent from heaven. I can even remember hearing music as they walk by-love lift us up where we belong-. Then one of them flashes a quick smile at me (or was that my imagination?). then I blacked out for a while… then I saw them in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by a wall of dudes hungry for fresh meat! I witnessed some were turned down, some were brutally ignored, and some others are just staring at them, probably gathering enough guts. I gathered all my guts and snaked through the swarm of hungry bastards! My cousin right behind me for backup…. I’m now beside my target waiting for the right time… eventually I got the chance to introduce myself and ask for her name. her name is Kheilla, cool name ay. Nuf said! To be continued… or not.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
scenario: you are hanging out with your friends in the mall/park/school then suddenly a group of hot girls are walking by. you tried to talk to her and said (insert your favorite ice breaker here). it turns out you're not her type so she walked away with her friends, ignoring you. now here's the good part -revenge-. your not gonna let her humiliate you like that are you? once she got away.. let's say 5 meters, say out loud: "yeah, get the fuck outta here you fuckin whore! i dont even want you!" (make sure your friends and her friends can hear) that way, you'll turn the table around. now she's the one who's humiliated! take that for ignoring me! LOL
here are some ice breakers that will surely lead you to the above scenario.
- If i can rearrange the alphabet, i'll put U and I together
- Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa just what I want for Christmas.
- I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
- I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.
- Are you from Jamaica? Coz Jamaica me crazy!
- Are you from tennessee? Coz you're the only 10 i see!
- Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
- If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
- You say "I bet you a Bacardi I can kiss you without using my lips." She says, "Bet's on." You kiss her then say, "A glass or a bottle?."
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
i'm lying in my bed wonderin
why cant's sleep, ideas keep comin.
now i'm writing a poem like an emo person
though i prefered being compared to a black guy in prison.
for those who knew me, you might think i'm crazy
for writing unusual stuffs unexpectedly.
well everyone's got their own secret addiction,
i am just a bored guy who needs medication,
for i can't sleep! God knows why
i'll just write a poem, i guess i'll try
you can't really judge a book by it's cover
coz maybe what you see is just a colorful cover.
all im saying is i am still JB
just trying new things that interests me.
now you know the other side of me
now you see the flip side of JB.
this is the poem that gave me inspiration. it's from the movie Harold and Kumar.
I fear that I will always be
A lonely number like root three
The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic
I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three
As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed
here's another poem, maybe this will be the first and last time that i'm gonna write a poem for my post.... the next poem will tell you why.
Roses are red, violets are blue
i'm not really good in poems, are you?
they say it's easy, doubt that's true
so fuck poems! and fuck you too!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
She is my favorite Death. Death is sweet and funny. She cares for humans a lot, Death takes a 24 -hour day each century to walk amongst the living and die with them. She takes no joy nor hatred in her job, but merely completes it because she must... She is the second oldest amongst the seven endless, her big brother is Destiny himself (makes sense right?). She will die when everything dies. When the last living thing dies, she will be there. When Destiny ended, she will take her brother's life. In the “facade” on Sandman, she said: "When the first living thing existed, I was there, waiting. When the last living thing dies, my job is finished. I'll put the chairs on tables, turn out the lights and lock the universe behind me when I leave".
In the anime Death Note, Death Gods write names on their Death Notes, and eventually, or should I say inevitably, the person will die. These guys are not really Death itself (destiny-lly talking). They are basically Gods who depends on death. Here’s what I mean, they live by taking the remaining life span of humans by killing them via Death Note. The more they kill, the longer they live. In short, they kill to live.
This guy is based on the western grim reaper-a skeleton with a scythe. He’s a human-like slacker who lives with his mom. He even shows himself to Peter Griffin when he’s having his near death experience. Lol. He hates the fact that people think his evil, that Death is an evil thing. I mean Death is definitely not evil. Death is as constant as Life. Death is a gift for that matter.
In ancient Greek mythology, Death or Thanatos is described as a bearded winged man or a young boy. Thanatos has a twin brother named Hypnos, the God of Sleep. Relevant to Death on Sandman, wherein she is the older sister of Dream.
Samael, the angel of death
Angel Sameal is one of the fallen angels, he is married to a demon named Lilith. his name means Sam-poison, el-of God; thus he is the "poison of God".
This guy is more of a “I’ll teach you to value your life” kinda guy. He helps Adam Sandler understand the meaning/value of life and death, by giving him a universal remote control. By universal, I really mean UNIVERSAL!
The Far Side
in the comic strip "the far side", they showed death as a kid playing with tombstones on a sandbox. Lol. How creative. i cant find the right picture though, the photo above is just a random far side strip.
Lol. i know what your thinking... yup, sailor saturn is the warrior of death and destruction. her weapon is known as the 'Silence Glaive', also referred to as 'the scythe of the goddess of death.
Gundam Death Scythe
Oh yeah! My favorite gundam! Sick mobile suite with a death scythe for a weapon! Cool!
Botan a.k.a. Sharlene
Yu Yu Hakusho a.k.a. Ghost Fighter
Ahh, sharlene, she’s one of the Deaths that I would go with when she comes for me! She wears a kimono and rides on an oar like a witch rides a broom. Here’s some symbolism, the oar symbolizes Charon’s boat, ya know, the boat that carries soul. see greek mythology. Lol.
My Chemical Romance
Here’s death from an emo’s point of view. Death as a parade. So if your emo, then you died an emo death, you’ll join their black parade.
Bone Thugs & Harmony
In the music video Crossroads, they showed a black guy with wings taking lives. Now you know who killed Tupac and other gangsta rappers out there!
I like this movie because it’s not like any other Filipino love story that makes you wanna look for the remote control to change the channel, just to realize that you’re on a movie house! Where was I? Oh yeah, I like it because the story doesn’t solely revolve on the two love birds. It’s not really a pure love story thing; it’s also about an adopted son looking for his true parents and a daughter who is having pointless insecurities towards her “better” sister. The movie has lots to offer unlike Aga and Anne’s movie, sure there is this Aga’s group versus Anne’s dad thing going, but sorry, it just didn’t work. And why am I writing a review on a Filipino movie?! Well, I’m a Filipino and I like movies. I think that’s enough excuse! Hahaha. Oh! Almost forgot, the last local movie I saw was the “a very special love”! Nice movie! Go Sarah and John Lloyd!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
-a friend, a collaegue and a fan
You got good, original content going and that's something most blogs don't have nowadays. The blog's got good potential mang. Work on it some and I'm sure it'll look great. Be yourself, but don't forget about the readers. Good luck.
hey! nice blog!
-a highschool classmate.
you made me laugh with Freddie roach-cockroach.
Not bad at all, blog's a good marriage of sensibility, wit, and humor... one up JB! Looking forward for more
jb ganda ng diary mo ...sisikat ka rin one day
i viewed your blog and read almost all the articles posted there, in one sitting for 2 and a half hours!
I LOVE IT!
thanks, you guys!
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Let’s start with my favorite.
Ok, think of the Filipina version of marimar, yes marian rivera. Isn’t she hot enough? No she’s not. The original one is! “Thalia” deeeyyymmnnn!! Latinas are so hot; al gore blames them for global warming! I mean imagine Eva Longoria, Jessica Alba and Thalia doing lesbo action (pardon my French) on the polar ice caps, yup, I don’t see any ice… I’m too focused on the three naughty Latinas!……. LOL!
Two words, Maria Sharapova. I like the sound of her grunt! Eeerrrgghhh!! Tok!........ ! Tok!.... eeeeerrgghhhh!!! You know what the audiences do on the tennis court, when they turn their heads from right to left for the whole duration of the game. With Maria on the court with her captivating eyes with hot thighs on tennis shorts! I bet the guys are gonna have stiff neck after the game!
Japanese, Chinese, Koreans
Sorry for the bracketing, they kinda look the same anyways. Though Japanese girls are cuter (Devon Aoki), Chinese girls are hotter (Zhang Ziyi)… as for Koreans…. They’re dumber! (in a good way) ok, dumb is a harsh word, let’s just call them innocent looking. My favorite Korean chik is Eugene Kim (save the last dance for me). Oh yeah, and Jeon Ji Hyun (my sassy girl)
Kate Hudson, my favorite blonde:) Well, I’m not really a fan of white girls. But if they come to me, I see no reason to be picky!
Now were talkin! You know those girls dancing behind the rapper on a music video? There is this one girl, she’s on the “shawty is a 10” music video. Damn! She’s definitely a 10! Don’t forget Rhianna on her “take a bow” video! She’s so sexy dumping the guy; I wish I was the guy!!
I think pinays are the sweetest looking girls in the planet. Of course pinays are basically my favorite. Maybe they are not my favorite in terms of looks. Perhaps I love them for their personality, their customs and beliefs, especially those who grew up with uberly strict parents! Ahaha. Those are what I believe “the maria clara” type of girls. Well im not saying I like MC types. And I’m not saying I don’t like them. It’s just that, right now, I prefer the sluty bitchy look! (by that I’m just referring with the looks, not the actual sluts) lol
(the photo above is a friend who now resides in California. Thanks for letting me publish your picture! Just for the record: obviously she’s the sweet looking type. Pls don’t misunderstand her as the SB type. lol)
I guess we all agree that: Filipina+any race will come out gorgeous! Look at Vanessa Hudgens, Jasmine Trias and Anne Curtis. I’m telling you “GORGEOUS”! and of course, those chinitas out there, and those fil-ams that you see in the clubs! Deymn! (just hope they are not products of Philippine prostitution) LOL.
(the photo above is actually my cousin. She’s half Italian. P.S. for all the guys out there, don’t even think about it! now fuck off! lol)
Chinese+Japanese/ Chinese+Korean/ Japanese+Korean
Good luck guessing what her nationality is..
Japanese+Canadian (a special something for our crush of the month)
All hail Maria Ozawa! FYI she IS a porn star, yeah I know… I felt it too… what a waste of goddess like beauty ay? But who cares!? I’ll marry her anytime! anywhere!
I dedicate all my small praises to my beloved one’s who passed away.
From now on, I’m gonna grow my hair then make a cow lick it down my face. (translation: turn emo)
Friday, August 1, 2008
an incredible life size sculpture of neil gaiman's character-dream.
In case your wondering, Dream and Death are characters from neil gaiman's graphic novel "the sandman". my favorite book so far. for now, I will write a little about it.
The sandman is about Dream. anyway, i said im just going to write a little. so i'll just write some interesting things about the said novel.
Dream is one of the seven endless. the endless are themselves, for example: Dream is dream, he is no ordinary human or god. He IS Dream. a personification of dream perhaps. Somehow the seven are considered siblings. i'll list them down in order, from the eldest to the youngest:)
well that's it for now. hope you'll read the sandman.