Wednesday, August 5, 2009

How to handle strict parents

You have two choices.

One is to be their dumb obedient dog.


Read this anti strict parent (ASP) tutorial.

For all evil parents, evil child and FLIP readers who has nothing else to do. I’m sure a lot can relate, it doesn’t mean you have to actually do what the evil blogger told ya.


This “tutorial” is only temporary, meaning you don’t have to stick to this tactic forever. In time, when you get older or perhaps when you think more maturely, you’ll understand everything, you might even end up being like THEM when you became a parent yourself. So while you are still waiting for your time of enlightenment, try reading and learning from this tutorial. Have fun:)

The Secret

You can’t choose your parents, and fair enough, they didn’t choose you neither. But you have the power to mold them the way you want them to be *evil psycho laugh*. You just need to read their behavior, understand how they work, find the gears that keep them going and change what’s needed to be altered. Never fight them; fighting will only lead to unnecessary clashes that won’t solve anything. There’s a more diplomatic yet evil way to handle things (and no, I’m not talking about cleaning the toilet with their toothbrush). Always go with the flow, play their games and make sure you turn the table. Being “plastic” is the key. When their being nice, or when your being soft coz you keep remembering the good times you had with them, don’t let your guard down. Always remember the good’ol wars you had, the hell that they kept raising upon you. I’m sure the bad times will swallow the good times whole without even burping of satisfaction. Always remember the misery they put you thru, and make sure you return the favor, not by rebelling (more on rebelling later) but by making them your own puppets (i cant really teach you how, different parents needs different measures, you just have to know the right tools, this is just a guide, a sneak peek of the big picture). They won’t even know you’re already pulling their strings. Always remember, you are above them, they are JUST your parents, you are the next generation, and you are their future. They’ll need you eventually. Try threatening them that you won’t change their diapers when their old and useless. Hahahha! (I feel like a disturbed kid, writing this post. Lol). Just stay cool, act dominant and observe your evil plan as it goes.

Things to remember:
  • Don’t fight them, take control of them.
  • You don’t need them telling you what and what not to do.
  • And your secret weapon… “ang anak, kayang tiisin ang ina, pero ang ina hindi kayang tiisin ang anak.” Translating this in a poetic manner is beyond my ability so I guess I’ll just be simple with it. Basically it means that a child can abandon his/her mother but a mother can never abandon her child.

Never rebel, unless you can already live by yourself (not just live, but live a life better than what they can offer). Rebelling only leads to washing dishes on random diners.

This post is not inspired by the blogger’s own experience. Although at some points, I can relate. The identity of the evil parent behind this post will be remained confidential.