The Bizarre Adventures of Baby James & Mongo Josh [Episode I]

Uncanny stories of a baby and his retarded brother


Weekly Visit

Blakoal dakhoal beeensss
Juks pit ap heerlll
Ja bhul jab jupin jak blurrr
Bi bits ta floe
Beksting ie loe
Shappy jhat loe loe loe noe noe noe

Mongo Josh loves to sing. Mongo Josh likes R&B, he did a lot of remixes of the hottest R&B songs (in which remix means replacing the words into babbles). He was singing Flo Rida’s “Low” when Daddy Phillip came to their house to visit him. Daddy Phillip heard his son singing, he scanned the room to check if someone is around, no one except for Baby James. He immediately kicked Mongo Josh on his face. Mongo Josh didn’t feel a thing. Maybe because of his “slow reaction”. Daddy Phillip was pissed, he grabbed a wrench (god knows how that wrench got there) he beats Mongo Josh with it, just like how a father beats his retarded son…oh. Still, Mongo Josh felt nothing, he kept on singing, this time he sings Pussy Cat Doll’s “When I grow up”.

Bhen hai jow dop
Avhanavhie beymbooze
Vhanavhie ajar
Vhanavhienimuvee

Daddy Phillip grabs a steel base ball bat. I guess I don’t’ need to describe what Daddy Phillip did to Mongo Josh. Let’s just say Baby James enjoyed the scene. After hours of beating-the-retarded-shit out of Mongo Josh, Daddy Phillip decided to leave before Mommy Kris and Daddy James arrives.

I guess it is worth mentioning that Daddy Phillip “visits” Mongo Josh three to seven times a week, hoping that someday, he’ll beat-the-retarded-shit out of his son.

Mommy Kris and Daddy James arrived. Daddy James wants to show Mommy Kris that he cares for his retarded step son. He decided that he’ll play with Mongo Josh while Mommy Kris is there to witness his fatherly deed. He approached Mongo Josh with a ball in his hand, hoping that he’ll play with him. As soon as he patted Mongo Josh’s head, Mongo Josh started crying! He cried as loud as he can! Mommy Kris saw this! She thought Daddy James slapped Mongo Josh, but in reality, Mongo Josh cried because Daddy Phillip kicked him, remember what I told you earlier? “slow reaction”. I’ll leave the ending to you. I bet you can imagine the pain Mongo Josh suffered for the next few hours! Baby James loled.

-End of chapter I-

(the names of the characters are created by the author’s imagination, any resemblance of anyone you know are awfully coincidental)

Coming soon on FLIP

Jersey number 18, Purefoods Tender Juicy Giants. 3 secs remaining on the shot clock, Baby James has the ball, 2.5, 2, 1.5…. he shoots!......

Baby James woke up, the sound of his retarded brother’s head banging against the floor disturbed his sleep. He placed his Dora stuff toy on the corner of his crib, he stepped on Dora’s head as he climbed out. Mongo Josh saw his little brother escaping his (as far as Mongo Josh’s “imagination” is concerned) “cage” (Mongo Josh thinks of his little brother as a pet given to him by Mommy Kris). “bleahhkk” shouted Mongo Josh. Baby James slapped his retarded brother, “quit your babbling you retarded freak!” Baby Josh angrily shouted. “bluwahk!” Mongo Josh replied. Baby James blinked “your hopeless, I can’t see any reason why Mommy Kris and Daddy James are still keeping you here, go home to your Daddy Phillip or might as well do all of us a favor and kill yourself!”. Mongo Josh is, as you all know, a retarded good for nothing huge lump of flesh, but somehow, he knows when his little brother is angry at him. “Blukakelafhuette” Mongo Josh told his brother, pointing at their Mac Book. (a gift from their Tito Gay Boy). Baby James stared at the screen, “what’s that?”. “bwikiki!” Mongo Josh proudly states. Baby James saw the blog.

Funny Little Island Person
Presents

“The Bizarre Adventures of Baby James & Mongo Josh”
Uncanny stories of a baby and his retarded brother

(the names of the characters are created by the author’s imagination, any resemblance of anyone you know are awfully coincidental)